All posts by Tangent

SERIES: EMAIL DISEASES: HOW THEY AFFECT YOUR LIFE AND HOW YOU CAN AVOID THEM (ISSUE 5: VOICELESS MISCOMMUNICATION)

I was originally going to call this piece, How to Avoid Electronically Pissing People Off, but figured since I was striving for professionalism I’d better rethink that title.  So, you get Voiceless Miscommunication instead.  Confused yet?  Don’t worry…I’ll fix it.

I’ve said it before and I’m fairly certain I’ll say it again: we are virtually (no pun intended) overrun with technology; from cell phones to wireless networks, massively multiplayer online games to blue tooth and everything in between. These days it’s hard to tell when an actual person ends and their technology begins because one’s tech is very much another appendage which, if severed, could cause physical pain.

We love our cell phones, our texting, our emojis and emoticons, instant video, on-demand anything, now, right now, hurry up please. Can you say instant gratification? The problem this has created is we are, less and less, communicating with one another as we are with an artificial-like intelligence. Hey, Siri? Hi, Galaxy! And, wonder of wonders, our devices talk back to us. Sometimes with flippant comments cleverly programmed by those invisible actual-humans who program such wonders, and other times with seamless internet searches which delve for answers even before you’re done asking the questions.

Do you know that feeling you get – those of you who have experienced such things – when Siri comes back with a sarcastic non-answer? Or when Galaxy responds, “That’s a tough question. Allow me to search the internet for an answer to ‘What is two times two?’.” Meanwhile, you’re thinking: “Really?” And each time you attempt to clarify your question to the faceless, emotionless, quasi-A.I. which lives inside your device, the response you get only serves to confuse you further. As if two times two could ever equal purple, because aliens don’t wear hats. Say what?

But, in true Tangent style, I digress.

I was headed toward discussing email – another faceless, emotionless, quasi-A.I…. Ok, not really, but definitely one of the most widely-used forms of communication technology we have. But, as useful a tool as email is, email really doesn’t have a voice unless you give it one. We can take thoughts from our clever brains and type them out neatly into whatever email program you use (Outlook, Gmail, Yahoo! – you get the picture) and suddenly thoughts become visible words. And, though you know how those words are supposed to sound, once they get ‘on paper’ they suddenly lose their tone. The words have no voice. Further, not everyone is as creative as you are, so your words may be misconstrued on the other end because the recipient was unable to hear with your intended voice. You are now voicelessly communicating with another human being.

Let’s face it, though. At the root of this, we’re all human beings; and therein lies the problem. Have you ever tried reading lips? Have you ever witnessed a conversation taking place in American Sign Language and wondered what was being said? Have you ever heard another language being spoken and felt left out? Now, I know there are a lot of you out there who can read lips, or understand ASL, or have an ear for foreign languages, so you may have to stretch a bit here, but stay with me. I’m trying to convey the level of confusion, exclusion, or even frustration you may feel at not being able to understand what is being said. Your logical brain tells you that, because two people are conversing they must be using a language they both understand and therefore, the conversation is meaningful to them. Your feeling brain is simply confused, lonely and left out. Though, really, you do not need to be involved in every conversation you hear (sorry, my inner mother just came out).

Wow…I went off track again. Sheesh! I must need some more caffeine.

How, you may be asking, do I give my email communications a voice? Well, to be perfectly honest, it’s hard. And some people are just unable to do it, no matter how hard they try. It could be a matter of, “I’ve gotten my point across,” or, “I’ve said what I meant to say,” or, “If they take what I’ve said in a way that I didn’t intend, well…that’s not my fault, is it?”

Actually, it is.

Relationships have been established, strengthened, fought for, and finally solidified or lost entirely using email. Through email, it is just as possible to capture someone’s attention in a positive way as it is to really tick someone off. Just a possible to get your message across in a friendly manner as it is to simply state facts.

Let’s test this, shall we?

Morning friend!

Just thought you’d want to know those catalogs you ordered have arrived. They’re on the shipping dock, which is currently overloaded with deliveries. WOW! I’m gonna be busy the next few days! Let me know if you need help moving them to storage.

Vs.

Your catalogs are on the shipping dock. Dock’s full, so get them to storage soon.

Which email would you prefer to receive? While both emails contain the same information – catalogs have arrived, the shipping dock is crowded, the catalogs need to be moved to storage – one email is friendly and implies the sender’s willingness to assist the recipient with moving the catalogs in order to clear off the dock while the other email is basically, “Your stuff’s here. Come get it.”

Let’s try this again.

Hey,

I just got a call from a customer who said you were unfriendly to them. I would really like to hear your side of the story. Do you have time to come see me this afternoon so we can work this out? I’m sure it’s just a misunderstanding.

Vs.

Hey,

I just got a call from a customer who said you were rude to them. You have got to tone it down. We need to talk about this a.s.a.p. I need you in my office before noon. This is not the kind of behavior I tolerate.

Again, which email would you rather receive? While both emails contain the same basic information, one is open-minded and non-accusatory; taking the facts as they are known and relaying them in a way that gets attention, but also lets the recipient know that no judgement is going to be handed down until both sides have fully vetted the information related to the situation. The other email is accusatory, judgmental and automatically assumes the recipient is at fault. Yes, both senders want to talk to the recipient, but it is apparent one prefers to hear both sides of the story before making any decisions while the other has already made a judgement call on the situation.

You can make or break any relationship via email. The trick is to find the right words, in the right context, which will convey the right meaning to the recipient. This is extremely difficult at times. Also, there are some folks who simply cannot do this, no matter how much they might want to or how hard they try. Bottom line is you need to write, and read, email with your human voice instead of your electronic one.

Here’s another way to look at it: If you are automatically inclined to react in a particular way to an email from a particular person, there’s nothing that particular person can do to beautify their words so you won’t take offense. I mean, let’s face it: there are some folks who just rub you the wrong way, no matter what they do, right? Just as there are folks who you can’t help but like, even if you may not really want to.

So, this voiceless communication thing is a two-sided coin. On one side, a sender really needs to pay attention to the words they are using, taking into consideration how those words will be received on the other end and if those words will convey their meaning in an appropriate, non-offensive way. On the other side, the recipient really needs to pay attention to the words as they are written and make an attempt to hear them with the human intonations with which they were intended.

Bottom line is: words are words, meaning is meaning, but undertone, intent, and predetermined feelings such as like and dislike are also key factors to consider when composing electronic communications. It’s a skill. And like any skill, it takes practice. So the next time you sit down to compose an email – however brief – consider the above-mentioned factors of words, meaning, undertone, intent, and feeling as you type. You may just find that your email has a positive impact on more levels than you ever thought possible.

Can you pass The Resume Test?

You all have been listening to me spew advice, thoughts, peeves, rants and other information for a long time now.  For that, I must say thank you.  I have a lot of experience and lot of knowledge, but it’s all self-taught and learned through many years of keen observation and asking enough questions to fill an Olympic-sized swimming pool.  The point is: I know what I’m talking about and I don’t make stuff up because it sounds good.

One thing I know – for absolutely certain – is what employers (recruiters, specifically) are looking for when they review resumes and assess applications.  Bottom line?  They’re looking for formatting faux-pas, spelling snafus, and informational inconsistencies as much as they’re looking for employment experience and skill set.  Yes, the alliteration is fun, but what those alliterative allusions allude to (sorry, couldn’t help myself) could be detrimental to your job search.  You can be certain they’re testing you.

Have you ever asked yourself this question: “I’ve put out tons of resumes, I know my stuff and I’m an great candidate, so why am I not getting any call backs?”

First of all, the very best piece of advice I can give you is, “SLOW DOWN!”  You may be in a hurry to get a job, and therefore in a hurry to update your resume and start submitting applications, but don’t.  Hurry, that is.  Take your time.  Be thoughtful.  Be deliberate.  And BE HONEST.

Secondly, when you put together your resume, have a trusted friend look it over.  Heck, have two friends look it over.  Ask your friend to not only look for glaring errors, but ask them to think like a recruiter: what would they want to see?  If possible, show your friend a copy of one of the job ads you’ve responded to and ask them to impartially consider the match.  Also, have them take resume format into account.  Not just the way your resume is laid out on paper, but to look for spacing problems or things that just seem…off.  Then, no matter what they say, listen.

Third, SPELL CHECK!  This cannot be stressed enough.  You could be the best match for the job, but spelling errors could get you fired before you’ve even gotten the job.  Most employers aren’t going to think, “Well, she looks great on paper, and those spelling errors are probably just accidents, so let’s get her in here for an interview.”  They’re not going to give you the benefit of the doubt.  They are looking for the best, so be the best.  Further, most spelling errors aren’t accidents.  Yes, typos happen, but the worst thing you can do is show a potential employer you don’t know how to spell.  The second worst is showing them you didn’t bother to spell check your work.  Spell Check is there for a reason, so use it.

And lastly, be very careful about inconsistencies with your time-line.  In any type of resume, if you list start and end dates of a previous job and then have months or years in between listing your next job, consider saying something of what you were doing during that time.  For example: From July 2012 through January 2013 assisted a family member recovering from major surgery.  Whatever the case may be, say something so a potential employer knows you were not simply sitting around on the couch, eating yellow cheesy sludge out of a bucket with your fingers, and hollering at the television while collecting an unemployment check.  For that matter, if you were collecting unemployment, you may want to say something like: From July 2012 through January 2013 was actively seeking permanent employment.

One other thing.  It is in your best interest to keep your resume to one page, or two pages printed on one sheet if you’re using hard copy.  It is definitely a challenge to get all of your important information on one back-to-back page, but if a recruiter has to read War and Peace, they’re going to get bored awfully quickly.  Would you want to risk it?

The above tidbits don’t just apply to resumes, but also to online applications and any forms a potential employer may send you to fill out.  Also, understand this: Your resume is not the right place for elaborating.  The interview itself is the right place and time for further explanations and storytelling.  A recruiter worth his or her salt will only pre-screen potential employees who pass the resume test.  If you’re job hunting, go back and really look at your resume.  Do you think YOU would pass the resume test?

PS: Tananda says. “For the love of all that is holy… do not use some sort of decorative font or put artwork/graphics/selfies all over it.” For what it’s worth, I wholeheartedly agree. Once you’ve got the words on the paper, let them speak for themselves.

SERIES: EMAIL DISEASES: HOW THEY AFFECT YOUR LIFE AND HOW YOU CAN AVOID THEM (ISSUE 4: TOTAL INFORMATION OVERLOAD or EMAIL IN-BOX APOCALYPSE)

Kaboom

In an age where we have so many options for communicating, we rarely communicate. I mean, yeah – we all still talk to each other – but do we really communicate? If you’re like me, you spend a lot of time on Total Information Overload (T.I.O. – Remember that; I’ll use it again) and sometimes, especially in times of high-stress or high-emotion, T.I.O. is, quite literally, the straw that breaks the camel’s back. You know what I mean. It’s the “If I have to deal with/fix/listen to/solve one more problem I’m gonna [insert your own descriptor here]” symptom of a greater issue.

All that being said, at this point we’re only going to get busier. Information is going to continue to flow faster and faster. Things will change so rapidly we’ll eventually be buying new tech every other week as our “old” tech continues to become obsolete just so we can keep up. It’s maddening.

I know when I’m in T.I.O., I tend to shut down. I remove myself from most social media; I don’t write anything I don’t absolutely have to write; I don’t read anything I don’t absolutely have to read; I don’t talk to anyone I don’t absolutely have to talk to. I’m not being mean or even truly anti-social; I’m in full self-preservation mode. To be honest, my withdrawal is probably more for the sake of those around me than for my own. Heaven only knows what might come out of my mouth on an off day – or even an off minute.

You: Where in the heck is she going with this?

Me: I do realize I’ve taken the long way around the barn and I’m currently at risk of running away with the horse. Please hang in there.

You: <sigh> Okay.

(Truth be told, this could be considered – at least in part – a continuation of Tananda’s “Skimmers and Non-Readers” article from several months ago. But it’s also more than that.)

Let me simplify. What is, for all intents and purposes, the most commonly used form of business communication these days? That’s right! Good for you! It’s email. We’re absolutely inundated by, and totally dependent upon, email. I know I am, at any rate. Sometimes it’s next to impossible to weed through it all, and yes, sometimes things get missed. But in my case (and I can truly only speak for myself here) things aren’t missed because I’m lazy. I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, I miss things because I’m overwhelmed. Total. Information. Overload. I work very hard to make sure I accurately take stock of the information which has been communicated to me and disseminate it appropriately.

Perhaps one has an email which informs one of the date and time of an upcoming event, but the information on said event is buried among the verbiage weeds. You literally have to dig through the barrage of words to find the pertinent information. Even the best of us struggle with such a task. (With apologies, we so-called “writers” – because I would never condescend to truly call myself a writer – tend to err on the side of being overly verbose.)

Let’s pretend you’re like me – a very busy administrative assistant – trying to make heads or tails of not only your own email, but your boss’s in-box as well. Now, let’s pretend you’ve become involved in a chain of back-and-forth emails between yourself, and another (at least one other) individual. Pay attention here:

From:                    Them

To:                          You

Subject:               Quarterly Report

Hey – just checking in to see how that report is going.

_____

From:                    You

To:                          Them

Subject:               RE: Quarterly Report

Hi. Great! Just putting the finishing touches on it. It should be in your in-box by noon.

_____

From:                    Them

To:                          You

Subject:               RE: RE: Quarterly Report

Fantastic. Thanks!

On another note, do you think you’d be able to help with the annual fundraiser this fall?

_____

From:                    You

To:                          Them

Subject:               RE: RE: RE: Quarterly Report

Sure, I don’t see why not. Send me the details.

OK – enough pretend; back to reality now.

You just witnessed one example of something the organizationally challenged abhor. At least, this organizationally challenged individual abhors it. One might even go so far as to call it a peeve, though I think that’s stretching it. Silly, but true.

You:       What in the heck is she talking about? That email exchange looks fine to me!

Me:        Be patient, my young Padawan.

Notice, if you will, the subject change? No, not in the actual subject line – ah ha! – but in the body of the email. Now, consider a few months down the road “Them” comes back to you and says, “…but you said you’d help with the annual fundraiser!” after you’ve publically announced you’d be taking a short leave of absence. And you, being the conscientious person you are, go back to check because you can’t really recall what you’ve committed to and, though you know something came through about it, the details are a little fuzzy. (Hey, it’s months later; you can hardly remember what you had for dinner the night before!) Do you believe you could quickly and accurately find this little gem among the overwhelming number of emails which have hit your in-box since the original request?

I don’t care how diligent you are, how organized you are, or how good your memory is. This would be nearly like trying to uncover the proverbial needle from the proverbial haystack.  But – what if you took the same exchange (I won’t reiterate it) and changed the subject to Annual Fundraiser when you hit “Reply” that last time? Not only would it make your life easier, it would make searching it out several months later easier as well. It would also accurately represent the content of the email and document the subject change.

Furthermore, upon separating the wheat from the chaff, you realize that yes, you’d been asked to help with the annual fundraiser, but your request for further details was accidentallyonpurpose ignored and therefore you have nothing further to go on except the original agreement to assist. Therefore, the “argument” in question is invalid. You win.

Yeah, yeah – I know. Asking folks to change the subject in the subject line of an email would be like asking people to reinvent the wheel, or rediscover fire, or relearn how to breathe in O2 and breathe out CO2. And anyway, it was just a suggestion.

Let’s take this one very confusing step further, shall we? We’re going to pretend, for the sake of this argument, there are seven people involved in the email exchange above. Seven. Not a couple, not a few, more than several, but not a lot. It starts innocuously, asking about the status of the Quarterly Report, and then morphs into a request to assist with the fall fundraiser. Are you with me so far? And with responses from the seven folks who all agree to help with the fundraiser, you now have multiple answers, suggestions on what to do, ideas, themes, colors schemes, rules, a ridiculous amount of Reply-to-All instances which have quickly gotten out of hand (thank you very much) and suddenly your in-box is not just overwhelmed, but on the verge of exploding; you along with it. Most unfortunately, there is no possible way to stem the tide at this point. The email has taken on a life of its own and all you can do is hang on and hope you don’t get crushed.

Six weeks down the road, someone asks, “Hey, who came up with the idea of putting glitter on all the banquet table centerpieces? I’d like to give them a piece of my mind! I’m covered with glitter. I think I may even be pooping glitter. My 4 year old daughter thinks I’ve been hanging out with unicorns and fairies.”

Yeah. Good luck with that.

The bottom line is, in a post email in-box apocalypse, there is no hope of ever effectively going back to find out who came up with what idea because, guess what? The subject line still says “Quarterly Report” and didn’t have anything to do with fundraising.

Or glitter.

SERIES: Email Diseases: How they affect your life and how you can avoid them (Issue 2: SHOUTY CAPITAL LETTERS)

Do you like to be yelled at?  Does anyone?

DEAR MR. SCHMOE,

YOU, SIR, ARE A BOIL ON THE BUTT OF SOCIETY!  YOU HAVE NO IMAGINATION AND NO ABILITY TO DO THIS JOB AND I, FOR ONE, THINK YOU SHOULD BE FIRED!  SINCE I HAVE NO AUTHORITY IN THAT MATTER THE ONLY OTHER THING I CAN DO IS YELL AT YOU AND TELL YOU WHAT I THINK OF YOU AND YOUR STUPIDITY!  I AM RIGHT AND YOU, SIR, ARE WRONG!  I THUMB MY NOSE IN YOUR GENERAL DIRECTION AND WISH TO DISASSOCIATE MYSELF WITH YOU ENTIRELY!

SINCERELY,

MR. DOE

 

Argument A

Picture, if you will, an email exchange between two individuals engaged in an electronic argument.  (I shall not make something up here because my ability to argue successfully extends really only to myself – I tend argue with myself a lot – and to very few others.  Needless to say, debate class in high school was not my very favorite thing.  Though some would say I live to argue, this is simply not the case.)  These two individuals have allowed their virtual disagreement to escalate to a point where one user (let’s call him USER 1) has finally lost his ability to reason effectively and has resorted TO SHOUTY CAPITAL LETTERS in order to make his point.  The other user (let’s call him USER 2), upon receiving the SHOUTY CAPITAL LETTERS, sits back in his chair feeling defeated and thinks: “Well!  You don’t have to yell at me!” Followed by some choice words (fiercely unspoken) directed at USER 1.

Argument B

Imagine, now, this same exchange – however long it may have been – in person.  Two people, standing nose to nose, both red-faced and obviously ticked off, each about a stones-throw away from coming to blows.  To the outsider, it is apparent one individual of this duo is the instigator and the other is simply doing his best to hold his ground and not allow himself to be bullied.  Both are furious with one another.   Both believe they are right and the other is wrong.  The shouting is disruptive to others around them both in a way that disallows these others to be productive employees and in a way that makes these others truly uncomfortable.  It could be that a few of these others are interested in this heated exchange in the same way a passer-by might be interested in a train wreck, but for the most part, people have scattered to other parts of the building to attend to suddenly urgent duties.  This argument culminates in one person finally blowing his top and shouting, “YOU’RE WRONG!  YOU’RE JUST WRONG!  YOU’RE STUPID, YOU DON’T KNOW THE PRODUCT OR THE CUSTOMER BASE AND YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT!!”  Whereupon hearing this, the other individual deflates, says something quietly to the shouter which witnesses can’t really make out, and slinks off to lick his wounds.

Does the “winner” of either argument actually win?  Or is that person simply better able to argue some point or another and, possibly, better at wearing down his opponent?  Does it make the “loser” less right, or his argument less sound?  Granted, it will depend a lot on the actual argument and since I did not see fit to imagine one for you we’ll really never know.

But…what does all this have to do with SHOUTY CAPITAL LETTERS?

In my most humble of opinions, using SHOUTY CAPITAL LETTERS in an electronic exchange is, quite simply, unacceptable.  I tend to use capital letters if I am trying to place emphasis on a word or phrase that underlining or italicizing will not draw adequate attention to.  But in those cases, it is usually very obvious that I am NOT shouting.

I read a story once (well, actually, if I’m being honest I’ve read this particular story multiple times) about a group of Solomon Islanders who had an ancient practice of felling trees by yelling at them.  (All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten by Robert Fulghum – http://www.robertfulghum.com/)  The theory behind this practice was that yelling killed the spirit of the tree and so it died and fell over.

I believe that being yelled at does, indeed, kill one’s spirit.  Especially if one is yelled at often and for an extended period of time.  To make one cower before you by the very act of yelling – out of anger, frustration, intent or intensity of feeling – is a lowly act and one that only makes you a bully.  Yes, there are absolutely reasons why yelling, on occasion, is warranted; but only on occasion.  If you go around yelling at people all the time, will you have any friends?  Will anyone truly love you and will you be able to truly love?  Will anyone respect you?  Listen to you?  Act on your words or simply ignore you?

Ending an argument by so thoroughly defeating your opponent is akin to abuse and yes, in some cases, even murder.  Do you really wish to kill someone’s spirit by yelling at them?  I believe there are much better ways to win an argument and that, my friends, requires finesse, an adequate understanding of and ability to use the English language, and a genuine desire to make your point without completely steamrolling your opponent.

Just some food for thought.

SERIES: Email Diseases: How they affect your life and how you can avoid them (Issue 1: Reply All Syndrome)

In my professional life as an administrative assistant, I see a lot of email.  And I mean a lot of email.  Tons.  I’ve seen all manner of badly written email.  SHOUTY CAPITAL LETTERS.  the perpetual lowercase user.  The Forgetter of Punctuation.  Let’s not forget individuals who do not care how a word should be used grammatically, or how it should be spelled; if it looks good, or perhaps is one of those words favored by that particular individual, even if it has nothing whatsoever to do with the context of what they are writing, they will use it.

Today, I shall touch upon something that, if I am being truthful, annoys the crap out of me.  Something I am certain you, fellow email user, have either encountered or have (GASP!) been guilty of.  Frankly, as email users, we are all guilty of this from time-to-time, but the ramifications…well…the ramifications could be at least embarrassing, at worst, damaging, and always annoying.

The REPLY ALL Syndrome

So there you are.  You’re buckled down.  You’re focused.  You’re organized and getting stuff done.  You are feeling productive and your day is moving along very nicely.  You receive an email which has been sent to…for the sake of this argument…over two hundred recipients.  You do your due diligence, open the email, read the information contained therein, and think hm…looks like they forgot to include the date on which this event they’re telling us all about is going to happen.  (I’m making stuff up, just stay with me for a bit.)  Just as you are considering your reply, another email pops through with the same subject.  You think hm…looks like someone got to it before I did; let’s see what they say.  You open the new email, observe that the responder has come to the same conclusion that you did (the event date is missing) and further, has taken the liberty of responding not only to the original sender of the email, but also to everyone on the original distribution list.

This secondary individual in this example (we’ll call him The Responder) has a disease.  It is called The Reply All Syndrome, or RAS, for short.  It’s contagious.  And it spreads like wildfire.

In the blink of an eye, two more emails hit your in-box in response to the original email notifying you about the event.  Rapid fire REPLY ALL.  And quickly, three more.  Each email saying essentially the same thing, “What is the date of the event?”  Now, not only has your day been interrupted once (the original email) but before you could say “Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious” your day has been interrupted seven more times.  And it’s only just beginning.  Pretty soon, you get one brilliant responder who decides that it’s up to him to respond to everyone to ask everyone to please discontinue Replying to All.  It is at that point where you, who were so productive and focused earlier, are now totally distracted to the point of considering slamming your head into the nearest hard surface, wall, whatever.  Full-on Face Plant on your desk out of sheer frustration.

We’ve all been there, ladies and gentlemen.  And unfortunately, we’ve all been guilty of it, too.  However, there is a difference between accidentally hitting the Reply All button and doing it on purpose.  Let me give you a hint: If everyone on the original email absolutely must receive information which is vital to their continued existence or to the subject matter at hand, then yes, by all means, select Reply All.  If your response is based on a feeling – for example, you feel you should let everyone know that the date of an event was missed – please, for the sake of all that is good and organized and free-flowing in this world, respond only to the original sender!

You could respond to the original sender with something like Hey – you may have already gotten this several times, and I apologize if my email is just one of many, but I wonder if you realize you neglected to include the date of the event?  If you would please let us know when said event is to occur, I sure would appreciate it.

OK – maybe not exactly like that.  But wouldn’t you much rather receive an email response such as the example above, even if you have already gotten several, than over a hundred Reply All responses?

There is a cure for this disease.  It is called Conscientious Attention to Detail or CAD, for short.  CAD is not something that comes naturally for humans.  It is something to which we need to aspire.  We are born with a natural immunity, if you will, to CAD.  CAD must be actively practiced, on a minute-by-minute, day-by-day basis.  It must become habit to become an effective cure for Reply All Syndrome.  Unfortunately, in today’s society of instant gratification, CAD is rare.  Texting, truncating words to fit within a certain character limitation, or simply a gradual (and sometimes not-so-gradual) slide away from proper usage of language is prevalent.  Therefore we must be diligent!  We must be attentive!  We must constantly consider how our actions (or non-actions) are going to affect others!  But again I say, this instant gratification society is also a “Me” society.  How many of you have said, “Well, it (whatever it is) doesn’t affect me so therefore why should I bother?”

I think I have just made my case.

SWISH! Score one for Tangent.

CROSS POSTED: …Off on a Tangent

Everybody, Somebody, Anybody and Nobody *OR* Does anyone do anything around here?

This is a story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that, because it was Everybody’s job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn’t do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have.              ~Author Unknown

If you don’t mind, allow me to begin with a disclaimer. I am not (honest and truly) thinking of any particular person when I start spouting off about certain personalities. I may mesh several known personalities together, pulling quirks and idiosyncrasies from different individuals to create my own version of Joe Smith, but I will not ever call out a single individual to pick on because I would never intentionally hurt or embarrass someone that way. I will further say that if you, my dear reader, see yourself in some form or fashion, you can rest assured that what you see is your own personal point of view, not mine. Please do not lambast me or burn me in effigy at my attempt at humor with a tongue-in-cheek account of different personalities you may encounter within your office.

All that being said, let’s give this a whirl, shall we?

Today, ladies and gentlemen, I would very much like to talk about Not My Jobbers. Not My Jobbers are an unfortunately abundant and highly-frustrating breed of co-worker. Not My Jobbers are the folks who:

  • take the last bit of coffee and never make any more so that when the next poor, unsuspecting, caffeine-deprived soul walks up to the pot all they get is sludge.
  • spill stuff and don’t bother to clean it up.
  • take aim at a waste basket, launch enthusiastically, and when the swoosh doesn’t happen and the offending article hits the floor, they walk away because they were too lazy to walk to the waste basket in the first place.
  • take the last of the manila file folders and leave the empty box.
  • open a new package of factory-sealed note pads and leave the plastic wrapper.
  • empty boxes of copy paper and don’t remove the empty box.
  • open reams of copy paper and leave the wrapper on the table.
  • use the copy machines or printers until all the paper runs out and don’t bother to refill the drawers.
  • use the copy machines or printers until all the ink or toner runs out and don’t bother to even attempt to replace the cartridges.

Well, you get the picture. If something requires doing, you can pretty much guarantee that Not My Jobbers will not do it and, sadly, they far outweigh those folks who do the things just because they need doing. And the bullet-points mentioned above don’t take into account the actual work portion of office life. The stuff that an employee is actually hired (and paid) to do. There’s a lot of Not My Jobbing going on there as well.

Let’s look at four common excuses, because when you think about it, that’s all they are: excuses. I believe I shall address each one individually.

It’s not my job. Maybe not, but it’s somebody’s job, you can be sure of that. Quite honestly, just because it isn’t your job doesn’t mean you can’t help someone else with theirs. Just as an example, the cleaning crew comes in after hours to empty your waste basket, wipe up your mess, put your things in order, vacuum your floor, and you can’t take the time to clean up after yourself? Does the existence, or presence, of a cleaning crew mean that you can’t pick up the paper towel that just missed reaching its goal of making it into the waste basket? Another example: you see someone struggling to open a door, hands full, juggling multiple items, attempting to dig their keys out. It’s not your job to help them. Does something not being your job mean that that you can’t assist someone else who is clearly overwhelmed? Here, let me help you with that is not hard to say, nor is it hard to accomplish once you’ve offered. Think about those words again, Here, let me help you with that. How can those words apply to other areas of your life?

I don’t have time for this right now. To be honest, none of us have time anymore. Not any of us. We’re all so busy we hardly have time to breathe. Between your own job duties, home life, possibly a second job, maybe a couple of kids, the house, the yard, relationships – you name it – these things all take one very important thing: time. So what if you’re getting ready to get on a conference call? You have time to throw together another pot of coffee; thirty seconds late to a call you know others are going to be much later for because they don’t have any time, either! For me personally, being late for something makes me twitch. I hate being late for anything. And I’m not touting the acceptance of being late; one should always strive to be on time. But relax a little, will you? And how about when something you’re trying to do, over and over again, just will not work? How frustrated you get when you just finally throw up your hands and say, I don’t have time for this right now! (Please, leave tossing object of frustration out of the equation; you really don’t have time for that, either.) Breathe, OK? Think about how you can turn that frustration into success? And further, think about how you can apply the above Here, let me help you with that. They mesh nicely together, don’t you think?

Somebody else will do it. Ah…here we are again. Those nameless, faceless persons who come behind, and clean up after, you. Those persons are not, contrary to whatever you believe, elves, who magically appear, request no payment, work their backsides off, and expect no credit to handle things that you should have handled to begin with. Like cleaning up after yourself, and finishing that project that is nearing deadline. It’s not someone else’s job, it’s yours. I’m very sorry that’s just something you are going to have to deal with, so accept it, own it, work it, and get on with your life. I don’t care if your mother still makes your bed for you, you are an adult, with a job, with your own responsibilities – so act like it. I’m not going to sugar-coat that, people. No one else is going to do your job for you, whatever that job may be.

They don’t pay me enough for this. Nope. They probably don’t. I refer back to Here, let me help you with that. Are we, as a society, so selfish and self-centered that we forget all about others? Sadly, I believe we are. Oh, there are a few people out there who qualify as modern-day saints (don’t start with me, you know exactly what I mean) who bend over backwards to help others, no matter what form of help is required. I don’t see any reason why we cannot apply that same concept to our working lives. The big Corporate “They” might not pay you enough to deal with the angry guy on the phone who wants his money back, and the reason for his anger is most likely not your fault, but does that mean you shouldn’t do everything in your power to help get to the root of the problem and find someone who might be able to help him even if you cannot? Money has become the main reason people do anything anymore. If they’ll pay me, I’ll do it. But how about the concept of doing something just because it needs doing or simply out of the goodness of your heart? Shall we call you The Grinch?

One might consider changing one’s perspective. Look at things (whatever they are) as opportunities to help instead of being tasked with doing someone else’s work. How about instead of thinking “It’s not my job,” you think, “It’s only gonna take me a minute so I might as well get it done, since it needs doing.” How will changing the way you think change the way you feel? Well, it might not. But if it does, and the trend catches on? Think of the possibilities!

Surviving The Cube Farm: A Lesson in Office Etiquette

http://www.dilbert.com
http://www.dilbert.com

Having spent years, and years, and years (honestly, it feels like eons sometimes) in an office environment, I think I can officially pronounce myself an expert in office etiquette. I don’t have a medal, or a certificate, or a fancy diploma, or a fez with a fun tassel (fez’s are cool) to prove my expertise, but I promise, I am an expert. Though, truth be told, some of said expertise is actual and some of it is totally because I’m petting my peeves, but all will be totally worth your while.

Whether you have worked in an office environment or not, you’ll probably find this as helpful as you will amusing. See, even if you don’t work in an office, a lot of this is just common sense, best practice stuff that you can apply to your everyday life.

I need to also say that while this is about working in an office and the etiquette practices therein, I want to further clarify that I am mostly referring to those of us 9-5ers (ha-ha) who work in a cubed office environment. More commonly referred to as The Cube Farm.

PRIVACY

Let’s start with an easy one. Something everyone wants to have but that mostly no one gets. Nothing in The Cube Farm is private. Nothing. Or, mostly nothing. Just understand that it is likely everyone knows everyone else’s business all the time and you’ll already be on the road to success.

The Office Gossip (TOG). She (well…TOG could be a he, but for the sake of this argument, let’s let her rip) makes it known that she knows everything. She is the one to track you down on your first day simply to tell you that she is the eyes and ears of the place and if there’s anything to know, she’ll know it. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge. She wants you to spill…immediately…and will pressure you until you do. Depending on your own personality, and how much you want everyone else in the office to know about yourself, it’s probably wise to steer clear.

The Connected One (TCO). TCO knows everyone. Literally and figuratively. TCO is your personal 6-degrees of separation. You used to work there? Oh, do you know so-and-so? You live where? Oh, do you know… You get the picture. And heaven forbid if TCO finds out that you and they know someone in common (or several someones in common) because every time that someone makes a move, TCO is gonna tell you about it. TCO is great for networking, though.

Beware if TOG and TCO are one and the same. That’s a recipe for disaster! I suggest you hide. Just a couple examples of some Privacy Pirates that you might encounter.

If you’re an average Joe or Jane, sitting in your little cube, doing your work, going about your day, minding your own bees-wax, then you’ll probably escape any lasting damage. But offices employ many, many different kinds of people. I shall shout fervently: WHY CAN’T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG?  Here are a few pointers that might help when it comes to maintaining your privacy.

Never enter someone else’s cubicle without permission. I’ve seen it said in other places that you want to behave as if there is a door and knock, tap, or employ some other gentle method to get the attention of the person in that cube without simply barging in. You don’t like it when folks barge in on you, right? So why would you do it to someone else?

Try not to sneak up behind someone in a cube. See above.

Let others know when you can and cannot be interrupted. Well, yeah – I admit this one is kind of tricky. You don’t want to be interrupted and really don’t have time to tell anyone not to interrupt you so, now what? Well, some offices will allow you to post a flag, or a small sign, or a rotating magnet like you might put on your dishwasher to let the rest of the family know the dishes are clean or dirty. Wait…sorry. Hang on. The rotating office magnet should probably say something like busy and available, not clean and dirty.

Prairie Dogging. The end-all be-all of office interruptions. The popping up of heads all over The Cube Farm to see what’s going on. Up down. Up down. I feel like I need a giant hammer and so I can play a gratifying game or two of Office Whack-a-Mole. Aside from the dogs just being annoying, it’s an invasion of privacy. You do not need to see what is on the other side of that wall so badly that you can’t walk over there.

Loitering outside another’s cube. Totally rude, Dude! Don’t hang out while you wait for the occupant to finish a phone conversation. First of all, you have no idea how long that call is going to last and you could potentially be standing there forever. Kind of foolish, if you ask me. Secondly, if you see someone is otherwise engaged, it is just common courtesy to come back at another time. Common courtesy is, sadly, lacking these days.

Looking at other people’s stuff. Yep. We’ve all done it. The quick flick of the eyes to the monitor screen in front of you, whether it is your screen or not. The information contained on the screen of a co-worker does not apply to you. Period.

Listening to other people’s stuff. In The Cube Farm, it’s next to impossible not to hear your co-worker’s conversations. They’re on the phone or talking with other co-workers all day long. Sometimes it’s hard not to listen, but try. Don’t comment on overheard conversations, or answer overheard questions either. What someone is discussing with someone else does not apply to you. Period.

Touching other people’s stuff. We’ve established that cubes don’t have doors. Doors are a visual representation of privacy. There is definitely something to be said for doors. Doors rock. The lack of a door does not mean you can help yourself to whatever is contained within another’s space.   The pens, pencils, sticky notes, paper clips and various other office supplies are not yours, are not meant for you and should not even be borrowed without permission from the occupant. This goes for food, drinks, and stuffed animals. (Hey – we all have a stuffed animal at our desks, right?)

ANNOYING SOUNDS

As you’ve gone through your day in The Cube Farm, have you ever heard something that drove you nuts? Or something that was so…off…that you felt the need to go investigate? Like that anecdote about children; if they’re quiet, you need to check on them because probably someone is doing something they’re not supposed to?

Any office has sounds you cannot avoid: typing, ringing, the hum of the white-noise maker, which is supposed to drown out or muffle sound but tends to just make more noise. The air conditioner or heat coming on and off. The microwave beeping in the break room. The ice machine dropping ice into the bin. The hum of the vending machines. People walking, talking, drumming their fingers out of boredom or insanity because the conference call they’re on is now going into its second hour.

The Gum Popper. Om nom nom. Chomp chomp. Pop. Oh and the snapping. Don’t forget the snapping. They don’t even realize they’re doing it.

Slap Happy. The one who wears nothing but flip-flops year-round, even though they’re totally against the dress code, and does laps around the office twice hourly because they are getting their exercise by not taking the shortcuts everyone else uses. Slap. Slap. Slap. Oh, there they go. Wait! Slap. Slap. Slap. There they go again. What’s this, their fourth or fifth round this hour? Shall we take bets?

The Loud Food Eater. If the gum chewing wasn’t bad enough, there’s this guy. Constantly eating. Snacks. Crackers. Chew chew chew. And that thing he does when he’s got something stuck in his teeth? Shudder.

The Talker. This is the person who talks on the phone all the time, as loudly as they can. Or yells across The Cube Farm to the person four rows away to find out if they have any Ibuprofen. Or holds mini conferences outside their cube. It’s enough to drive anyone mad. Wait! Who has the headache?

A few descriptions of Annoying Animals in The Cube Farm for your amusement. I would like to put to you, dear readers, to be mindful of others as you move about the office during the day. Be considerate. Be aware of how your voice can carry or how the crinkling of the wrapper from your second bag of chips can be disruptive to your neighbor and that loud conversations are distracting and disruptive. And I haven’t even begun to talk about phones. That being said, let’s consider this further, shall we?

Ringing desk phones. We know that ringing phones are a product of being in an office. But did you know that the new-fangled technology we have these days allows you to adjust the volume of the ringer on your desk phone? You may be hard of hearing, but did you take into consideration that your neighbor might hear just fine thank you very much? A lot of office phone models have a little red light that blinks or flashes when you have an incoming call. If you place your ringer low enough for you to still hear it and within your range of vision (try peripheral, it’s awesome) you’ve got two layers of assurance you won’t miss a call.

Ringing cell phones. Turn ‘em off, people. Just turn them off. Or, set them to vibrate or silent ring. You do not need to have your personal cell phone on you all the time. Yep. I am like most of the rest of you, attached to my technology at the hip, but even I turn my ringer down, or off completely during the day. Your employer is not paying you to text (beep), play games, (boop), or chat (ring) all day long. And please, for the love of all that is good and peaceful in this world, do not leave your cell phone – ringer on – on your desk and then walk away. None of the rest of us need to listen to your Minion Ba-Na-Na PO-TA-TO ring tone over and over again. (Although props for a good choice of ring tone.)

Speaker phone conversations. Oh my. This one walks a fine line between being one of those aforementioned peeves I’ve been petting and being actual office etiquette. I haven’t weighed the scale to determine which side is heavier. But, if you must have a conversation using speaker phone, remember these key points: 1) Everyone else can hear you, and everyone else can hear the person on the other end of the line. 2) If you know about the call ahead of time, reserve a conference room so you can have a closed door between your speaker phone conversation and the rest of The Cube Farm. Your fellow dogs will thank you.

Voice Volume. If you’re a naturally loud talker, I understand. So am I. I’ve been known to burst my own ear drums from time to time. That’s another story. But there are these wonderful inventions called headsets. They are not only for comfort and convenience, but they also allow for a quieter (and more private) conversation. If you don’t have a headset for your desk phone, talk to someone who might be able to rectify that for you. They’re a good idea and should be standard equipment, right along with your computer and a monitor and a phone.

Tech Sounds. If you use email or instant messaging to communicate with your co-workers, turn the sounds off. Those dings and bings are enough to turn Dr. Banner into his big, mean, green friend with little to no warning.

Music.  If you are one of the bazillion people who like to listen to music during their work day, unless your office management says otherwise, it’s okay to use ear buds or headphones. Just remember not to get too zoned out, just in case you’re called by the little red flashy light on your phone or the loiterer outside your cubicle.

Are you feeling the burn yet? Think you can manage a couple more reps? Good. Let’s keep going.

SMELLS

Last on my list of things to discuss in the world of office etiquette is (drumroll please) smells. Odor. Scent. The things your sniffer sniffs out and process into four categories: good, bad, ugly and really, really offensive. (Points if you can get both random movie references there.)

The Scent Hound. Like a bloodhound to the scent of a missing person, the rest of us can smell you coming a mile away or follow your trail every place you’ve been. Your odor lingers when you pass through in such a way that one can almost see the molecules of your scent du jour hanging like a fog in the air. Patchouli does not equal bath.

The Lunch Eater. Here, ladies and gentlemen, we have The Lunch Eater. Sitting at his desk during lunch time, single-mindedly putting away the pastrami on rye he got from the local deli. Complete with onions, mustard and pickles. On the side, salt and vinegar potato chips. Look at him, ladies and gentlemen. Take note of how smoothly his arms raise the dripping sandwich to his mouth and how purposefully he bites, how possessively he chews. Beware. He is at his meanest at lunch time.

The Stink Monster. Stinky needs no qualifiers. Stinky is the leftover salmon for lunch eating, microwave popcorn burning, close-talking halitosis having, run the other way when you see him coming co-worker. Add in a layer of bad cologne and last week’s shirt (complete with armpit funk) and all I have to say is, “Eeeewwww!” It is Odoriferous Odiousness I share with you, my fellows. Let’s tone it down some, shall we? We, your co-workers, are breathing this air, too. You do know that, right?  Perfumes, colognes, body sprays, organic natural oils, scented hand lotions, hair sprays…what do they have in common? They all should be totally avoided in The Cube Farm. Period. Those of us with breathing issues like asthma or allergic sensitivities will thank you. File this under how to win friends and influence people. Not the book though. I mean it in the most literal sense.

However loudly you may complain about others, how loudly are they complaining about you? Take some time to think about your habits and ask yourself these questions:

1)      Does it invade or affect another’s privacy?

2)      Does it make noise and if so, how loud or obnoxious would I, personally, consider that noise to be?

3)      Does it smell? Period.

I am not judging. We are all individuals and we all have our own little quirks.  Some of us get along really well, some of us don’t.  Sometimes the best we can hope for is tolerance.  But as I leave you to go silently into that good night (or day, depending) I ask that you truly and openly think about those you encounter at  your office every day.  Maybe, just maybe, you’ll begin to see just what part of the corporate puzzle they play, and if you’re really lucky, maybe you’ll be able to fit that piece in exactly the right place.  Also, if you have very strong feelings about indivudual Privacy Pirates, Annoying Animals or Odoriferous Odiousness-es, talk to your manager about the best, most thoughtful, and least offensive or hurtful way to approach.  You could be doing them a favor.

While it’s absolutely impossible to please everyone all the time, your consideration of the above-mentioned things won’t go unnoticed. Your fellow Cube Farm occupants will thank you. They may not thank you personally, but they’ll thank you. Believe me.

Find Your Zen: Nervousness vs. The Interview

In the world of job hunting, probably one of the most important things you can do is nail an interview. Pull off a tumbling somersault into the room (without scaring anyone, please) leading into a dynamic conversation between you and your potential employer followed by a layout to nail the landing on the requisite blue mat and leave the interviewer applauding. Ta-da! Now that’s what I’m talking about. (Yeah, gymnastics holdovers from childhood. I will not apologize.) But being serious, there are so many different types of people, both the interviewer and the interviewee alike, with so many different comfort-levels when it comes to interactions with other people. How is it possible to nail that interview every time?

Let’s consider the whole extrovert/introvert thing.

Extroverts tend to get their energy by being around other people and tend to get bored when they are alone. Being around other people gives extroverts a charge – or, recharge. For example, an extrovert may feel “high on life” after spending an afternoon in the company of multiple friends, whereas this type of activity may simply drain an introvert of their energy.

Introverts tend to get their energy when they are alone. Being alone, focused on a single activity, gives introverts a charge – or, recharge. For example, an introvert may feel amazingly recharged after spending a rainy afternoon tucked into a chair by a fire, cup of coffee by my side, a good book…maybe a cat purring on my lap. Oh, wait – I just lapsed into the first person. You caught me.

But there are also ambiverts; people who tend to fall kind of in the middle of extraversion and introversion. Sometimes they’re comfortable with groups and social interactions and sometimes they’re not; sometimes groups and social interactions give them the willies.

Actually, I, myself, probably fall into the ambivert category. I tend to avoid crowds or places that have multiple bodies in a confined or specified space (e.g.: concerts, festivals, carnivals, auditorium/theater events, parties, just to name a few). I enjoy time with a small crowd of close, trusted friends, however (e.g.: work gatherings, church events, family gatherings, outings with The Girls, just to name a few). I described a dream date with myself just a minute ago: coffee, book, fire, and cat. All those things that require one thing: being alone.

I’m sure there’s science involved here. Some tangible data that explains why some folks are one way or another. I’ll leave the actual science-y stuff to my learned colleague, Tananda. She’ll set this all straight in a way that even I can understand it. I’ll stick with what I know: people.

Think about it this way. You have spent a lot of time and effort on your resume. You’ve spent more time and effort searching for and applying to various available jobs. You’ve submitted an application, included your resume, and written an awesome cover letter. You’re hopeful. Any day now. Then, lucky you, someone calls to talk to you about a job you’ve applied for. You chat (amiably) for a few minutes and, hopefully, schedule a time for an interview.

Now what?

Well the first thing to do is: Don’t Panic! Remember, you’re just having a conversation, okay? Breathe. Conversations are usually fine. You can handle this. You introverts are probably having apoplexy just thinking about all the ways a conversation, with another human being, could possibly go wrong. You extroverts are probably thinking about what you’re going to wear and calmly going over your resume in your heads. Ambiverts are probably doing a little bit of both. I imagine a little internal tennis match. Spectator’s heads following the ball of thought left and right, left and right. It’s almost as amusing as it is frustrating.

How about a little more insight into yours truly. While, yes, I tend to recharge in a solitary way, focused inward, I also love interviewing.

You: What? No one loves interviewing! That’s nuts!

Me: Maybe. I never claimed to be totally sane!

Let’s put this another way. Lots of folks in today’s job market have had some sales experience. It could be that you worked in fast food and got super-skilled at super-sizing or had the highest sales of that week’s promotional item: two bacon, egg & cheese biscuits for two dollars. There’s a reason for that. It could be that you worked in retail (clothing, jewelry, handicrafts, doesn’t matter) and got really good at selling the things the store carried that you felt particularly drawn to. There’s a reason for that, as well.

You are selling fast food items for a bargain and with a little oomph you can convince that drive through person that this bargain is exactly what they need. You’ve mastered this skill.

You are selling jewelry items. Jewelry is, mostly, not cheap. How can you convince someone to purchase a piece? You make them love it. If you love it, you can make your buyer see all they reasons they can love it, too, and take it home with them. If you love or believe in the thing that you’re selling, you can hardly lose.

What could possibly be easier to talk about than yourself? You are, for all intents and purposes, selling yourself. (No – not in that way. Please stop grinning and get your mind out of the gutter, we’re a serious institution here.) Theoretically, we love ourselves, right? I mean, we may not always like ourselves very much, but hey, we’re A-Okay. We’ve got it going on. Our resume says so. So why would you have trouble sitting down with a potential employer to talk about yourself? You’ve got skills! You’re a good, hard-working, time-management managing, team player. You get my point, right?

Interviewers tend to ask questions that fall into two general categories: Easy ones and hard ones. The easy ones are most likely as much as an employer can legally ask about you, personally. The “Tell me about yourself…” question is a pretty generic one. They can’t ask you how old you are, if you’re married, if you have kids, if you’re pregnant (that’s a whole other issue)…but if they ask you to tell them about yourself, what might you share?

The hard ones are usually more job-related. “I see that you have background in sales and customer service. Tell me about how you might apply that skill to an administrative position with ABC Co.?” Oh, boy. I can’t tell you how to answer that one (actually, I could, but I won’t), but if you do, legitimately, have sales and customer service experience and are applying for an administrative position, then there’s got to be a reason you can do what you do. You know this. You do it every day. You can make it seem plausible to the interviewer because you know it’s possible and you can make the interviewer believe it.

So what category do you fit in? You should know yourself well enough to at least be able to figure out if you’re an extrovert, an introvert, or an ambivert. Yes, I suppose there are folks out there who really don’t know themselves all that well. But for the purposes of this article let’s pretend you know yourself pretty well.

What now?

Extroverts

  • Tone it down a bit. I’m not saying don’t be yourself. That would be an impossibility. All I’m saying is where you might respond to things with overwhelming enthusiasm, don’t. Take it down a notch and respond with thoughtfulness and respect. An introverted interviewer may not appreciate too much excitement; but,
  • Show excitement. Enough so the extroverted employer gets excited about what you can do for them but not so much that you become overwhelming.

 Introverts

  • Take it up a notch. Again, I’m not saying don’t be yourself. But if you’re natural inclination is to respond with one syllable words and a monotone voice, try reaching into your vocabulary words from school and add some inflections of enthusiasm. An introverted interviewer will appreciate the effort, and an extroverted one will listen to what you have to say with seriousness and reflection.
  • Show excitement. I can only imagine how this must be for a true introvert to show an acceptable level of excitement. But you are excited, right? You’re just more nervous than excited. Consider the ways you could make that nervousness seem like excitement. An introverted interviewer will totally understand that you’re making an effort and an extroverted one will most likely see the side of you that a lot of others may not see.

Here’s what I’m suggesting: ambiversion is what you introverts and extroverts should try to strive for when you’re interviewing. If you’re too bright and electric for an introverted employer, you’ll scare them. If you’re too quiet, spouting monosyllabic answers to an extroverted employer, they’ll pass you over for someone with more personality. It’s going to be a struggle, I get that. A delicate balance. But if you can find that happy medium, that place where you (regardless of your personality tendencies) can feel comfortable in an interview, you’re going to seem more relaxed, you’ll showcase yourself and your skills quite well and knock the socks off your competitors to nail that interview.

One last thought. Yes, it is a competition. You want to outshine everyone else in every way possible. It may take a little work on your part, but you can do it.

Some excellent follow-up reading:

Tananda Dot Com: The Ins and Outs

http://tananda.com/2014/02/the-ins-and-outs/

What’s Your Personality Type?

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/1/1f/MyersBriggsTypes.png

Myers-Briggs Type Indicator

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Myers%E2%80%93Briggs_Type_Indicator

Extraversion and Introversion

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Extraversion_and_introversion

A Make-it or Break-it Resume

A HUMBLE INTRODUCTION

I’ve written a couple other articles now and have alluded to the fact that I had lots of stuff to say regarding resumes. So below, please find said stuff I have to say. Sorry – writing introductory paragraphs makes me twitch, especially when I am feeling decidedly decaffeinated at three-something in the afternoon. But aside from all that, I actually do need to preface this article by saying a few things.

First, this is not the end-all be-all of resume information…which will be totally obvious when you get to the end. I have researched these things until the cows came home (and they did…come home, that is) and have included a few links to great sources of information on resumes at the end of this article. This is simply my take on the matter, having used this system, or a variation of it, for years. It works, it really does. But there are others out there who will disagree with me. And that’s okay. That’s why we all have these awesome things called opinions coupled with free will.

Second, I am writing from the heart, but also writing in a somewhat conversational form. I apologize ahead of time if it gets confusing. Please bear with me. Also – you can feel free to comment if you think I’m a dunce or if something is so confusing to you that you need further clarification. I will answer.

Thirdly, take it slow. There’s a lot of information here and while I think it’s mostly good, I refer again to the dunce comment above.

And…away we go.

MASTER RESUME CONCEPT:

This is something that others may have thought of – so I cannot claim that it was my idea – but I have been thinking about this for many, many years and for all I know, I could be the inventor of something awesome.

The idea of the Master Resume is simple: Put every, single thing you’ve ever done – job/career-wise – down on paper. Include the company name, the dates you worked there, the title you held, the name of your supervisor, your supervisor’s email address and phone number (preferably direct, if possible), the address of the company or, at the very least, the city and state. Then list, in as much detail as possible (without getting wordy), your job responsibilities.

You: Whoa! Okay…hang on. Every. Single. Job. I have ever done?

Me: Yes.

You: But why? What is the point?

Well, think about it this way. Just imagine for a moment that you are sitting there, at some business establishment or other, preparing to fill out a paper application simply because you inquired about a job. This is great! They handed you an application! You get to fill it out right there and then and show this business establishment all about your work history! Except, if you’re anything like me, you don’t have any of the important dates in your head, like when you started and when you left previous employment. Oh, you could fudge it a little because you know generally when the comings and goings occurred – but would it be accurate? Do you remember how much you were paid when you started? How much you were making when you left? You know they’re going to check up on you, right? They do, actually contact your previous employers – you get that, don’t you? So why not make an effort to be accurate?

All that to say that a Master Resume is a great idea, and here’s why.

So, imagine you’re still at this business establishment, standing there with your pretty paper application, excited that you have the opportunity to fill it out when you realize that though you don’t have dates (or addresses, or phone numbers, or salary info…these things do fade with time, it’s okay) in your head, you do actually have a copy of your Master Resume in the car. You excuse yourself for a moment, run to the car to grab said Master Resume, and come back armed with exactly the information you need to accurately complete the application at hand. 

Alright, so yes, I understand that what I described above is, for the most part, a retail establishment practice – but can you take it further? Of course you can! Think about all the business establishments with an online presence and how most of the time those same business establishments have a careers/jobs/employment (pick your poison) section on their web sites. You search for a job, you find one that interests you, and you choose to fill out the job application online, which is a much more common practice these days. You are going to be faced with the same questions (and more) that you would find on the paper application at a retail establishment. (Actually, most retail establishments have an electronic application process now, too, though some still use the old-fashioned paper kind.) Again, that light bulb pops on brightly above your head indicating, if others could see it, that you’ve just had a brilliant idea. You go grab your Master Resume and get started on the electronic application.

All your dates, names, places, email addresses, phone number and salary and job duties are there for the picking. All you have to do is transfer it appropriately, and click Submit.

You: Wait, wait, wait, wait! I’m confused. I mean, I understand what you’re saying – I think – but…

Me: What? You want me to walk you through the Master Resume Concept from start to finish?

You: <sigh> Yes! Please?

You understand now the brilliance of it because I described it above, so here’s how it works.

Most resumes only list job history for the last 7-10 years. Anything more than that and it starts getting overwhelming for prospective employers.   Prospective employers want to see that you’re working, they don’t want to see gaps in your work history, and they do want to see that the previous work you did is applicable to the job you are applying for.

So what do you do? You give them everything, without giving them everything.

See, a Master Resume is where you keep everything – but when you’re applying for a position, you pull out the key pieces that are relevant to the position you are applying for and enter that into the application.

You: But that means that I could possibly show gaps in employment, and you just said that was a bad thing.

Me: Bear with me, I’m getting there.

You: Okay.

Most electronic application processes allow you to attach a resume along with all the important information you’ve already filled out online. This is where you attach a modified copy of your Master Resume, that you create specifically for the position for which you are applying.

This is what a job-specific resume should look like (please locate and use your imagination):

Resume of:      John Q. Jobhunter

Address:          123 Anystreet, Anytown USA 12345

Mobile:            (123) 456-7890

Email:               jqjhntr@email.com

Summary of Qualifications and Related Skills: [Type out a paragraph explaining how your qualifications and skills relate to the position for which you are applying; use the job description as your guide.]

Employment History:

CURRENT EMPLOYER: Start Date to End Date (Start Date or Present, if still employed) – Your Job Title – Company Name – Company Address – Supervisor’s Name – Supervisor’s Title – Supervisor’s Phone Number – Supervisor’s Email Address

Job Duties [be clear and concise. In fact, bullet-pointing is an excellent idea.]

PREVIOUS EMPLOYER 1: Same thing – keep going and include job duties.

PREVIOUS EMPLOYER 2: Same thing – keep going and include job duties.

PREVIOUS EMPLOYER 3: Now let’s say that this job was one that does not relate to the position for which you are applying – but it shows you were working. All you do here is enter the start date, end date, your job title, the company name, address, and supervisor’s information – then move on to the next employer.

When you get to a point where you’ve got 7-10 years of experience clearly completed, stop. Now, save the document as something you’ll remember – something, maybe, that indicates which position or company you’ve created it for – and then attach it to the electronic job application!

And you’re right – I suppose this could be a somewhat confusing and complicated concept, but if used correctly it could be such a wonderful tool. And yes, it means that you could, at any one time, have a saved copy of your Master Resume, and multiple position-specific resumes.

 OBJECTIVES:

 My research tells me that there are varying degrees of thought on this particular portion of one’s resume. Some say to yank it altogether, that it’s an outdated thought and what good does it really do? Your objective is to get a job, right? Enough said. Others say to keep it and make it “employer-centric” – meaning not to simply say that you’re looking to, for example “build your editing skills and leverage your interest in journalism” but to explain what it is that you can do for them. Remember, they’re the ones hiring you and though they care about what you can do, they want to know how you can apply that to their company’s specific needs and the position they are looking to fill. Ultimately, though, I personally believe it’s up to you whether to keep the objective or do away with it.

I tend to land somewhere in the middle, clearly stating what skills and experience I have related to the position I am applying for and building off of that. I call it Skills and Related Experience. How many years of experience do you have in your field? What programs or applications have you used and do they jive with what the potential employer is looking for? What applications are you comfortable with? How fast can you type? Do you have experience answering phones? Handling mail? Things like that.

REFERENCES:

Ah – the all-important, “Do I put References on my resume,” question. My answer is: That depends.

You: What? That’s so wishy-washy. Why am I even listening to you in the first place?

Me: Would you, kindly, give me a chance to explain my reasons behind that so-called wishy-washy answer?

You: Um…OK?

You see (I say kindly) there are times when submitting a list of references is totally appropriate and there are other times when it’s just…well…not.

You: How do I know the difference?

You’ll know. No, really – you will. Sometimes the specific electronic application (or any application, really) you are completing asks you to include references and, therefore when you are prompted to attach an electronic copy of your resume, it should, by reason of consistency, include those same references. Sometimes, it’s just not appropriate to attach a list of references; you can save that for the physical interview when you hand your potential employer a hard-copy of your resume and say professionally, “I brought you a clean hard-copy of my resume, along with a complete list of references.”

 As a general rule, I recommend having anywhere between three and five professional references and two or three personal references on hand, ready to go. It’s common courtesy, however, to let these people who you’re using as reference know that you intend to do so. Make sure you have all their contact information correct. Also, you will want to list next to, or below their names whether they are on the list as a Professional reference or a Personal reference.

For example:

Davy Jones                  Executive Director – Under The Sea, Inc.

(Professional)             123 Mermaid Lane, The Ocean, The World, 12345 ♦ Mobile: (123) 456-7890 ♦ Email: d.jones@utsinc.org

 Arial Mermaid             Owner, Voice Studios

(Personal)                    456 Mermaid Lane, The Ocean, The World, 12345 ♦ Mobile: (123) 654-0987 ♦ Email: arial@voicestudios.com

OTHER TIDBITS: 

  • Try not to make your resume more than 2 pages long. In fact, it’s better if you can keep it to one page, or two pages printed on both sides of one sheet of paper.
  • Bullet Points are your friend. Paragraphs work, too, but you want to make it easy for employers to see, at a glance, what you’ve done at any one job. Use this only in the job-duties section under each current or previous employer.
  • Formatting is also your friend. Formatting and fonts are important because these things draw your potential employer’s eye to key pieces of information. You want them to see what your job title was? Make it bold.

FOLLOW-UP READING / REFERENCE ARTICLES:

5 do’s and don’ts for building a winning resume

http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2013/09/26/5-tips-for-a-great-resume/2875465/

How to Handle These 5 Common Weaknesses on Your Resume

http://career-services.monster.com/yahooarticle/handle-common-weaknesses-on-resume#WT.mc_n=yta_fpt_article_handle_common_resume_weakness

Resume Writing: How to Write a Masterpiece of a Resume (Rockport Institute)

http://rockportinstitute.com/resumes/

Savvy Job Hunting: Tricks of the Trade

Did you know that finding a job is, in itself, a full-time job? I’m just going to lay that right out there, up front, so you don’t get any ideas. There are no shortcuts on this one, folks, I’m sorry – you must do the work.

For the purposes of this article, let’s say you’ve been laid-off.

You’re angry because, let’s be honest, it was the last thing you expected and you feel like you’ve been hand-picked for the pink slip you’ve just received. It’s tough to take into consideration things that may have lead your employer to decide on layoffs in the first place and even harder to realize that it isn’t personal, it’s financial.

You’re scared because you’ve got bills to pay and the bills don’t auto-magically (yes, I said that on purpose) stop coming just because your regular source of income has suddenly ceased. You’ve got a cartoon-esque tornado over your head which is rotating a constant barrage of thoughts: mortgage or rent, utilities, phone bills, car payments, doctor bills, money, money, money…and these crazy question marks that, for some reason, look like they are morphing into what could be interpreted as ultra-sharp scythes. <shudder>

You’re hurt because, let’s face it, it does feel personal even if it really isn’t and it’s hard to separate how you feel from the facts that led to the decision that led to you ultimately losing your job. (gasp!) You gave those folks lots of good years of your life, by golly. You worked hard. You dotted every “I” and crossed every “T”. How could they do this to you?

You feel worthless because…well…all of the above.

If you’re a Harry Potter fan I’ll bet you’re thinking the same thing I am, right? That part, in Order of the Phoenix, after Harry kisses Cho and has gone back to the common room. Hermione is trying to explain to Harry and Ron how Cho must be feeling:

HERMIONE:

“Well, obviously, she’s feeling very sad, because of Cedric dying. Then I expect she’s feeling confused because she liked Cedric and now she likes Harry, and she can’t work out who she likes best. Then she’ll be feeling guilty, thinking it’s an insult to Cedric’s memory to be kissing Harry at all, and she’ll be worrying about what everyone else might say about her if she starts going out with Harry. And she probably can’t work out what her feelings toward Harry are anyway, because he was the one who was with Cedric when Cedric died, so that’s all very mixed up and painful. Oh, and she’s afraid she’s going to be thrown off the Ravenclaw Quidditch team because she’s been flying so badly.”

RON:

“One person can’t feel all that at once, they’d explode.”

 HERMIONE:

“Just because you’ve got the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn’t mean we all have.”

 (Credit to J.K. Rolling, author of the Harry Potter series of books)

I’m not making light of this no job thing, but you get the correlation, right? There is just so much stuff is going on inside your head you feel like you’re going explode. Also…you are not worthless.

But, what do you do now? Well, in my opinion it’s okay to take a couple of days to refocus. For me, that means cleaning and music because those two things focus me and allow me to think objectively about any given situation. Don’t take too long, though, because then the refocusing thing simply becomes an excuse. After a while it just turns into laziness and apathy and the next thing you know you’re six, eight, twelve months down the line, collecting unemployment and still feeling sorry for yourself.

WAKE UP! (Sorry – I didn’t mean to yell. I know, I’m on my soap box right now and I feel very passionately about this, but you’re awake now, right?)

Let’s look at some next steps:

  • Update your resume. Break out the old resume and start updating. If you don’t have one, make one. Look it over carefully and think about not just the content, but how a prospective employer is going to view it. Proof-read, spell check, and make certain that all your dates, facts and information are correct because I’m telling you, attention to detail within your resume is a big deal. Print out several hard copies of your resume and keep them with you at all times.You never know when you might need to hand one to somebody. (For me, it’s hard not to go into a ton of detail with regard to resumes because I feel very strongly about them and the magic they can work. I am also writing an article about resumes in which I get to go into a ton of detail and which I promise I’ll eventually post.)
  • Treat finding a job as your job. Make it the first thing you think about when you get up in the morning and the last thing you think about when you go to bed at night. I know that life gets in the way sometimes, but you have to make this your priority. Finding a job, even when you’re diligent about it, can take a while. But you don’t have to prolong it and, in fact, can speed it up by focusing on that one pursuit.
  • Call the local Chambers of Commerce. Huh? Why? Well…call them and ask them if they have a list of all the businesses in the area. Sometimes those lists are online, which is great; sometimes they’re not. Ask them if they would be willing to email, mail, or fax these lists to you. You don’t need to explain why – unless you just want to. Sometimes, though, explaining your situation (I’m unemployed and seeking a job and would like a list of area employers that might be hiring) can unstick a hesitant person.
  • Talk to your friends. Seriously? Talk to my friends? That’s the best advice you can give me? Well, no – not the best advice, but certainly sound advice. Here’s the thing: Your friends (most of them, anyway) have jobs, know people, have contacts you may not have. Your friends may know of available positions you are not aware of. Listen, you’re going to talk to your friends about this anyway, right? So why not network with them? Plus, sometimes a friend is just the foot in the door you’ll need to your next job opportunity.
  • Update your social media profile. Yes, this one is touchy and my learned counterpart, Tananda, is writing an article as we speak about what your social media profile says about you – but update it anyway. LinkedIn, Facebook, maybe your personal blog… I won’t say any more about this right now, though. Tananda has that covered here: http://tananda.com/2014/04/putting-your-best-facebook-forward-social-media-in-the-modern-job-market/.
  • Pound the pavement. It’s an old term – and it still applies – but maybe in a more, ah, virtual way. Think about it. It used to be that when you were looking for a job, you got up, showered, shaved (hopefully), shined your shoes, put on a suit and tie, slicked back your hair, grabbed your briefcase (because, hey, it looks awesome with a suit), walked out your front door, got in the car, and started quite literally pounding the pavement looking for work. Knocking on every door of every business you were qualified to work for and then some. And, while that still works and is definitely something to consider, there’s this wonderful invention we have now called The Internet. Oh, and email, too! Remember that list of area employers you got from the Chamber of Commerce? Do they have an online presence? If they do, check it out and see if they have a Careers section. (Alternately called Jobs or Employment, too.) Check out their available position and apply for everything you could possibly be qualified for. If there isn’t a website, or if you cannot immediately find a careers section, is there a Contact Us page? An email address? Draft a strong, introductory cover letter and email them a copy of your resume. Even if there are no available positions, send them an unsolicited inquiry. Sometimes employers don’t get around to posting available positions right away and your unsolicited inquiry, containing an awesome cover letter and a well-thought-out resume could be the key to getting you in the door.
  • Don’t let the moss grow. Huh? What does that mean? Simply this. The longer you wait the harder it’s going to get. It’s a market people, and every market runs out of stuff every now and then…including jobs. So don’t wait. Look every single day and sometimes twice a day. 

Stuff to take with you when you go:

indeed – one search. all jobs.

http://www.indeed.com/

This one is great because you can enter your search parameters and it remembers them every time you visit. And the next time you visit it will tell you how many new jobs are posted under that category! It pulls from all available, posted positions from all the major job sites including Monster, Career Builder, and more…plus it pulls directly from individual employer sites that have posted positions as well as temporary agencies with available positions.

Monster

http://www.monster.com

CareerBuilder

http://www.careerbuilder.com